[Steve Rogers x Reader] Homesick (3)

Party Music:
For that little extra bit of immersion!
From the start: ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPXwkW… )
When it slows: ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHBX08… )



Steve rubbed his eyes first, head angled down into his palms and you watched as the first thing he looked at was the jeep he still sat in. His fingertips brushed the seat beside him so lightly as if it would dissolve. It was like watching a kid open a Christmas present.

"It is a-" Steve began to exclaim as he glanced round, but as soon as he saw you he cut himself short. Your suppressed your urge to grin, just smiling as his expression quickly melted from surprise to looking utterly stunned.

"You, uh- you look great." He murmured, barely blinking. His eyes flitted down to your uniform every so often as though he would be told off for looking anywhere but your face. It was awfully endearing.

"Thank you," You stepped forward, "You'll be glad to know we're all dressed to match, everyone should be here- if you would care to dismount the vehicle, sir?"

You pulled open the door to his side of the jeep, holding it open and sweeping one arm through the air, gesturing for him to step down. It took a moment for his friendly smile to grow again.

"Very kind, miss, too kind." He mimicked your plummy accent and you laughed. In a moment he hopped down the jeep's step and onto the pavement. Standing beside you now, he stared at you again in thinly-veiled awe, lingering on looking at your hair.

"So what d'you think?" You quietly asked, clasping your hands in the small of your back.

"Look's- it really suits you." He nodded quite abashedly, and you laughed. For a brief second bewilderment flickered onto his features. Shaking your head, you motioned to the building.

"Appreciated, but I did mean the bar." You murmured. Realisation and embarrassment dawned on his expression in quick succession.

"Ah- of course," With a cringe he sucked a breath through his teeth, then gave a self-deprecating chuckle, "Oops."

Grinning, you watched him glance to the bar. The glance turn into a stare, his features slackening. Soft light spilled out from between curtains and through the frosted glass in the door into the early evening. Energetic music floated with the cool breeze alongside laughter, muffled from inside. On the pavement, with the jeep at your back and Steve beside you, you waited patiently for some kind of response. When one didn't come you glanced up to the man beside you. Steve looked absolutely entranced by it all, but catching the movement of your head must have broken him from his reverie. With slightly widened eyes and a fractionally loosened jaw he glanced to you. Then back at the bar front.

"You... you did all this?" Steve murmured.

"I heard you were feeling homesick." You humbly replied, content to just watch him drink it all in and you shrugged, "I tried to get all the little details right-"

"It's perfect." Steve quietly cut you off, but you were a bit thrown by his tone. You put two and two together when he glanced back at you and under the genuine gratitude, under the small smile, there was pain in his eyes.

"God- I am so sorry," You forced out even as your heart sunk, "I thought it'd be nice to relive it all but I didn't think- I didn't- I'm so sorry-"

I just reminded him what he can never get back.

"Hey, hey," Steve interrupted with a hesitant hand on your shoulder, tearing his eyes away from the bar to look at you, smiling through it all, "I appreciate it, really. It's just a lot to take in all at once. You ready to go inside?"

He'd crooked on elbow out for you, smiling his dashing smile and you just stood there feeling utterly horrible.

"Are you sure?" You mumbled, "Don't go in if you don't want to- it won't bother me, I just didn't realise-"

"Hey." Steve laughingly interrupted again, somewhat incredulously, "As if I'd turn down a party like this. It looks great. Now c'mon, we can't stand out here forever."

After a small pause you looped your arm through his, then walked with him up the shallow concrete steps and to the door. He pressed his palm to the bottle-green paint like he was about to hold the door open for you.

"You first." You pulled him back a fraction and gave him a sheepish smile- his eyebrows twitched up and you added, "It is your party."

"Alright," Steve nodded after a second, "As long as you're right behind me."

He pushed the door open. Music and laughter became clearer and louder and a thrill went through you. Even from behind Steve the music and smoke and smell of alcohol rolled over you in a wave, stunning you a bit as you followed Steve inside.

It was a lot bigger inside than the pictures had made you think. Everything was bathed in golden light and and all the uniforms became a sea of greenish-brown, eddies of dancers swirling and swaying. A few agents gathered in the large booths along each wall, laughing and drinking, and others sat at the stools at the bar. It was just crowded enough to be cosy. It was perfect. Steve had stopped a few paces past the doorway and you quickly moved to stand beside him.

"So?" You eagerly asked. Golden hair slightly tufty from where the blindfold had been, he glanced down to you with a wide smile.

"It's amazing." Steve nodded as a few dressed-up actors danced past, quite drunkenly, and Steve's grin was spreading, "I know this song."

You spotted Sam drinking at the bar, and Rhodey storytelling to a half dozen agents in a nearby booth. A few agents had noticed the two of you but no one had come over, not yet. Gently, you nudged Steve with your elbow.

"I was hoping you'd say that." You laughed, folding your arms loosely over your chest, a bit proudly adding, "The jukebox actually works and there's like a million songs on it too, feel free to change it. Oh, and there're special drinks at the bar that will get you drunk. So y'know, party mode activate."

You didn't quite hear whatever Steve replied with because you were too busy surreptitiously watching a metal hand and move towards Steve's jacketed shoulder, just as you'd asked. A weary smile budded on your lips as those fingers tapped firmly on stiff fabric. Steve glanced over his shoulder.

"Hey." Bucky flatly murmured in his gravelly voice and Steve whirled around in shock, staring at the dark haired man in utter disbelief.

Somehow you'd persuaded Bucky to wear the old, slightly worn uniform- that you may or may not have lifted from a nearby museum- and that's what he stood almost awkwardly in now. He'd cut his hair too, insisting 'I'm pretty sure this's how it used to be' even when you tried to insist that he didn't have to. His eyes flitted between you and Steve with a sort of kindling warmth.

"Bucky?" Steve wearily and hopefully murmured, staring tensely, his breathing shallow. Bucky looked a bit shifty, glancing occasionally to the bar around him whenever anyone danced within five feet, though when he looked back at Steve he gave the smallest, flattest smile. You were almost tearing up watching the two of them.

"No, it's your great-aunt Irma." Bucky sarcastically joked back and all of a sudden they collided in a forceful hug, holding eachother with what looked like an almost painful tightness and patting eachother heavily on the back.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Steve forced out before pulling away, though still keeping a firm grip on Bucky's right shoulder.

"Someone's got to keep an eye out for your scrawny ass." Bucky flatly joked, shrugging with a smirk as he looked Steve up and down, "I mean look at you. You've let yourself go, Rogers."

"I'm going to get a drink." You looked between them, smiling so hard it hurt, and you pointed a thumb to the bar as they glanced at you. Steve looked like he might protest before Bucky spoke first.

"Sure, you've got a busy evening ahead of you," He wore a smug sort of smirk before looking back to Steve, "Reckon me and you have some catching up to do anyway, would you say, Captain?"

"Uh, yeah..." Steve tailed off, staring at you for a second before quickly adding, "I want to talk to you in a bit."

"Let the girl get some drinks down." Bucky clapped a hand to Steve's shoulder.

"I'll be around. Catch you later!" You nodded to both of them before turning, starting to meander away through the forties-clad agents. Nerves tingled in your stomach. Alcohol was a core ingredient in what you were planning to do.

"But seriously, how'd you get so tall? I went to pat your shoulder and I had to stop myself from punching your boob." You heard Bucky ask over the swinging jazz. Glancing back, the two of them were wandering to the bar.

"You know how you always told me to eat my greens when we were kids?" Steve's joking voice was only just audible as you sidled round agents you didn't know. You broke into a smirk, heading towards the bar tables across the room.

You were about to sit down on one of the stools when someone tapped your arm.

"Hm?" You glanced and Natasha was walking to the stool opposite you, two brown bottles in her manicured fingers, "Oh, I could do with one of those."

"Didn't bring two for greed." Nat slid into her seat, and you hopped up onto yours. She slid a bottle over the varnished wood and you caught it, cupping your hands round its base.

From here you could see a lot of the bar- green uniforms stood about or danced to the music, and the air was all laughter and excitement. Coulson stood with Agent May across the room, chatting, Clint was at the bar apparently having the time of his life pouring cocktails from an arm's length up, whiskey spattering over the wooden counter. Tony and Bruce were dancing and there was a small circle of agents- Maria Hill among them- clapping them on.

"So," Natasha started and you looked back at her, her forearms leant on the table in a triangle around her bottle, and her tone was coy, "I was talking to James. Bit of a surprise finding him rooting through the fridge the other day."

"And you didn't throw him into the veggie shelf?" You lifted your bottle, hovering it below your lips. Her eyes wandered around the room.

"Oh, I tried," Natasha laughed, "Having a robot arm is a bit of an advantage though. We talked it out, while he was choking me against a wall."

"Jeez." You recoiled. While you took a long drink from your bottle she waved away your concerns with a hand, then tucked that hand under her chin.

"Hey, it was fun." She joked. Shoulders relaxing, you let the cheery atmosphere take hold again. Everything was so lively and you started tapping your toe to the rhythm. Nat took a calm sip from her bottle.

"Sorry about the secrecy. I thought you'd try and kick him out," You looked back to her, shrugging, "The guys were easy to convince, but I thought you'd focus more on the whole hydra assassin deal."

"Once I got past that he isn't so bad." She raised an eyebrow, glancing across the room to where Steve and Bucky leant on the bar, "I mean, I know you're all starry-eyed over spangles but... Bucky ain't bad."

She smirked, giving a little approving twitch of her lips. Leaning back in your seat, you laughed, "So that's your type?"

"All I'm saying is that he stumbled up to me, blind drunk, and his hands got to wandering where they shouldn't?" She tossed her bottle back and took a sip, rouged lips pulling to a smirk as she lowered the beer, "I'd give him a few extra seconds before I snap his wrists."

You quirked an eyebrow, "But can I be the maid of honour?"

She laughed as you took another sip from your bottle. The music on the jukebox launched into a louder instrumental and trumpets blared. You found yourself swaying along.

As it died down, Natasha leant forward a bit and murmured in teasing response, "How'd you feel about a double wedding?"

That gnawing nervousness flared up in your stomach again. With a nervous chuckle you tilted your bottle to her, pretending to weigh up her point.

"Matching dresses?" You tried to joke.

"C'mon, you face scarier things than Steve taking your morning shower. James told me about your little arrangement," She shuffled forward in her seat, smirking wide, "Deep breaths. So when're you gonna tell him?"

You ducked your head down. Twirling the neck of your bottle in your fingertips, you glanced up at Steve from beneath your brow. He was still stood next to Bucky, facing away from you, and his shoulders shook like he was laughing. And that made you feel warm, smiling as your eyes traced him up and down. His uniform suited him so well. Your eyes flitted back to Nat.

"Please say soon," She smiled, "You looking at him with those puppy dog eyes-"

"It was sprung on me." You flapped a hand, feeling your cheeks heat up, "I- ugh... I honestly have no idea how to say it. I've been too anxious to even plan it properly."

"Awwh," She took another drink, glancing over to Steve, suggesting, "You know what always works? Bed full of rose petals and animal sex."

"Nat! Don't- shut up!" You shrunk in your seat, looking to either side as if anyone was listening. Cheeks flushed, your knuckles turned pale as you gripped your bottle.

"Or no sex before marriage," She shrugged her jacketed shoulders, "You both seem like the type."

"Oh, I am not-" You started in a scoff before cutting yourself off, murmuring over Nat's laugh, "Kinda showed my hand there."

"Bedroom thoughts aside you better think fast, Casanova," All of a sudden she slid off her seat, heels clicking on the lacquered wood, "Because he's coming over. Good luck!"

Your heart leapt. Then she started walking away, you whirled round to watch her go and in the same instance you saw Steve weaving over, a palm forward as he politely stepped around all the smartly dressed agents. Nat glanced back to you and winked.

"I'm rooting for you!" She called, lifting her bottle, and a few people glanced over. You just buried your face in your palms, droplets from the beer bottle damp on your skin. A chair scraped.

"What's that about?" That familiar sunshine voice asked from just beside you, all deep and light and just...Steve, really. Your heart thundered, you gave a little nervous laugh, then you peeped over your hands. He was sat in the stool just beside you, leaning on the round table and regarding you with slightly wide eyes.

"Uh, just-" You gave an exaggerated shrug, holding your palms out and trying to grin, "Nothing, nothing- she's been teasing me all day."

"Yeah?" He smiled, "Well, I'll get out of your hair quick- I just came to say thanks."

"It's nothing, really. Just, uh, just heard you were homesick, no biggie." Picking up your bottle, you took a long gulp. He gave an incredulous chuckle.

"Are-" He glanced about as if it was a practical joke, "Are you kidding? This is amazing, it's just like the old days, and Bucky? I, uh... I really appreciate it. Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem." It honest to god felt like your insides were dissolving. You tucked your hands onto your lap because your fingers had started trembling, and every breath you thought you'd scraped the courage together when you just breathed out again. Steve nodded, looking about, suddenly quite restless in his seat.

"Good," He nodded again, "Yeah, good, uh...great. I- thanks again."

"No problem," You began to smile earnestly, bewildered and amused and you added, "Again."

"Yeah." After a short pause he moved, stepping out of his seat. Standing beside you now he was all awkward smiles and shallow nods. Music played and you just sat there, knuckles white in your lap and he moved away.

In a long breath the tenseness left you. You lifted your shaky hands to cup your bottle, letting your head loll back a bit.

"It's just- I think you're beautiful."

For a moment you just sat there. You were quite sure Steve said that. Frowning in confusion, you turned round- and he was stood there a few steps away, hands furling anxiously by his sides.

"What?" You murmured. He took half a step towards you.

"And- and I don't mean just physically," He seemed to have horrible trouble forcing it out and you listened with widening eyes, "I mean- of course, physically, you're amazing, stunning, really- but it's not just that"

"Steve?" You stepped off your stool, searching his bright eyes with a daring hope, "Are you-"

A few agents were watching now, peering over the brims of their drinks, not that either of you noticed. A glass shattered somewhere and a cheer went up.

"Just hear me out," He looked away for a moment, running a hand through his golden hair before turning back, giving a nervous chuckle, "I'm so sorry, for the other day, when I asked that stupid question, it's just I- I really wanted to be sure, see, it's just- alright. For a while now I've come to count on you, not just as a member of the team, but as- as something more. More than a colleague, more than that. So I- I was wondering if you- we- could, uh... go dancing, some time. Only if you want to."

You stared at him, utterly speechless. Steve Rogers stood in front of you, confessing his apparent feelings for you- and you didn't mean to, it was the nerves, and the alcohol, but you burst out laughing. Doubling over, you clapped a hand to your mouth like you could push it back in. Everything seemed to shift- the lights were brighter, the smoke was sharper in your nose and the music was so much more joyous.

"Did I... say something wrong?" He asked and his voice was hard. Making yourself straighten up, you couldn't stop grinning, your other arm folded across your stomach.

"You- you completely stole my moment!" Your eyes flitted between his and, all giddy and lightheaded, you blurted, "Thank you- thank you, I had no idea how I was going to say it."

He began to smile, eyes narrowed a bit. Then he cracked a grin, stepping forward.

"No way." He muttered, "You?"

"I could say the damn same!" You laughed. It was an exotic sort of euphoria, bubbling up inside you, all giddy and giggly.

"So is that a yes on the dance?" Steve smiled far more easily now, and then he lifted a green jacketed arm, holding out a palm. This was all too good to be true, your heart was fluttering.

"Yes, you ice cube, that's a yes." You took his hand, and he pulled you over.

"Language." Steve smirked. He offered the crook of his elbow and you slipped your arm through his, leaning into him, and he seemed a bit surprised when you gave him a squeeze against your side. You started walking and he lead you towards the middle of the room where most of the dancing was, meandering around agents that gawped as the two of you passed. You were on a cloud right now.

"I don't actually know how to dance," You glanced up at him, "I mean, I played these dance video games as a kid, but, uh..."

"Hey, no worries," All light chuckles, Steve gave your arm a small squeeze, "I've got you- okay, don't laugh, but I've been taking dancing lessons."

Taking your hand again, Steve took a quick step in front of you and turned to face you. Standing in all his uniform he seemed content just to gaze at you, smiling.

"Better make them count for both of us then because I have no idea."

"Well, in every lesson I stepped on the instructor's feet, so. Sorry in advance." He delicately picked up your other hand, a light blush appearing on his cheeks. Just then the track ended in a screechy jolt, quickly replaced by a much slower tune and you glanced to see Nat standing at the jukebox. She raised her bottle. You grinned.

"You know, she's been pushing me to ask you out for months." Steve murmured, and in surprise you looked up at him. He had his head turned, and he gave Natasha the smallest nod before looking back to you.

"Seriously?" You laughed, "James only came here on the condition of me asking you out."

"He did?" Steve spotted Bucky leaning on the bar, and he was watching the two of you as eagerly as Nat, and he muttered, "I think we've been had."

"Well, I'm glad." You smirked, "Glad we've been had."

"Yeah," Steve found your eyes again, taking a deep breath, "Uh, me too."

"So..." You murmured after a moment, "Dancing?"

"Oh, sure, yeah," Flustering, Steve lifted one of your hands, "So it goes, your hand on my shoulder..."

His uniform was slightly coarse beneath your palm and you grinned up at him. His eyes were bright and they flitted over your face as his hand settled on your jacketed waist. Then he lifted your joined hands, lacing his fingers with yours.

"And then we dance." Steve quirked a smile, eyes still roaming over your face. You shifted your weight on your feet and your hip stood out. The music swelled and you smiled up at him.

"I am waiting for you to lead." You murmured.

"Oh, left foot first-" Steve glanced down at your feet, pausing, "Or, uh, right foot-"

You lifted onto your toes and moved your hand from his shoulder to his cheek, and the split second of surprise on his face was absolutely priceless before you closed your eyes and kissed him.

"Mmh-" He stiffened. Then he started to kiss you back, all soft lips and his tentative hand lifted from your waist and brushed your cheek. Tony cheered across the room and that set a few other agents off. There was a smattering of applause. You pulled away, grinning, and Steve was looking down at you. His eyes were wide and his mouth was ajar and he looked completely enchanted.

"Are you going to stare at me like that every time a kiss you?" You murmured, rolling a lapel of his jacket between your fingers. A gentle smile grew on his lips.

"As long as you keep grinning like that, Peggy."

Both of you froze. Both your features sagged and the music seemed to muffle as you recoiled half an inch, fingers loosening from his jacket. A gentle sort of panic seeded and bloomed in your stomach. Steve started to shake his head, halfway to opening his mouth to apologise.

"What?" Slipped from your lips. You looked between his eyes and you watched them dim, glaze a bit. He let out a small breath and looked away.

"I'm sorry," He pulled away entirely, "I can't- I can't do this, I'm sorry."

His expression had hardened and he couldn't look you in the eye. A muscle in his jaw flexed and he turned without another word. The music kept going without you, and none of the agents seemed to realise, and you stood there, speechless. The last you saw of him was the green-brown uniform over his broad shoulders as he disappeared into the slow-dancing crowd.